This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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