Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
