so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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