My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
