There was a lot of him and a little penis
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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