yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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