You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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