I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
