Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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