Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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