check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
