I looked at my own cervix.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I party with great urgency now.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize