Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
