WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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