is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
