He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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