i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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