my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
