He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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