I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
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