omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
