..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
