I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
