just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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