My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
