if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
