did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
