worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
