she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
