it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
