Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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