I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
