I'm sorry my penis didn't work
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
