He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
