is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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