You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
