After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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