Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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