'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
No stitches, just platelets and will power
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
