i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
