He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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