Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Someone signed my nipple.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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