all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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