He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
