She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
