The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
