Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
