I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
