well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize