dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
