i need an iv and a liver transplant
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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