One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
