dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize