Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
