my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
