I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
