sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
you will always have a special place in my vag
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
