he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
vagina is talking i cant
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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