accomplished twins. life is a go
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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