omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i can't believe i had my finger in that
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
