she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
