I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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