I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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