So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
