your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
